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MIRANDA MINK

What can you say about Miranda? She's cute as a button, smart as a whip, and if she weren't already going out with Lionel Carrotte... but that's another story. Here's what I know of her for certain: (but you gotta promise that you didn't hear it from me...)

Not many people know this, but Miranda is actually of Russian descent. They don't know it because she hasn't got an accent. For all they know, she could just as easily have come from L.A.... wait a minute... she is from L.A.! It's her parents who are Russian. (Their real last name, "Norka", means 'Mink'. Well, d-uh!) She's had a rough life for a toon. First, she gets an anvil dropped on her at the age of eight, which put her in a wheelchair for five years; then, at 13 1/2, she got in an accident in Yosemite Sam's Sound Effects 101 class (something to do with getting too close to a comedy cannon when it went off), and lost her hearing in her left ear, but regained her ability to walk. And of course, you know about those spin changes of hers. Originally, they were a by-product of the anvil accident. Whenever she got tense, she'd go into these spin changes, which got her out of her wheelchair (briefly) ; but the problem was, she had no control over how she would emerge from them, or how long they would last. Fortunately for her, when she transferred to Acme Loo, she met Rhubella, and together with RuBarb, Babs Bunny, and Wile E. Coyote, they pretty much figured out what was wrong with her. More or less. Ever since she got back on her feet, she's also been able to control those spin changes (thanks to some tutoring from Babs, who's the best in the business!). She also managed to snare Lionel Carrotte. (Darnit.) Here's a brief timeline:

1981: Viktor (a former nuclear scientist who once got in trouble with his superiors for playing the "No Nukes" album at work) and Amanda Norka (a recent graduate from the University of St. Petersburg) arrive off the turnip boat from Russia in Los Angeles, unable to speak a word of English. In addition, Amanda has the added handicap of being totally deaf. Viktor learns by watching classic Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons, and Amanda by reading anything she can get her paws on. Being quick studies, they learn fast. Unfortunately, their attempts to gain U.S. citizenship get mired in tons of red tape, and they're soon forgotten about.
1985: Amanda learns she's going to have a baby. Viktor makes a decision: they'll stay in America, no matter what. Their daughter is born, quite appropriately, on the Fourth of July (a good omen, according to Viktor). Amanda names her "Miranda" after reading the sheet music to a Phil Ochs song of the same name. Despite her misgivings, Viktor takes a job with a software company in Silicon Valley, where he discovers an amazing aptitude for creating computer games. Even so, the family at this point is still just barely getting by. Because of their illegal status, the Norkas reluctantly decide to refer to themselves as "Victor and Amanda Mink", and hope no one catches on. By year's end, Viktor and Amanda are both speaking perfect English.
1993: After eight years, things are finally beginning to look up for the Norkas. Viktor's games are runaway successes, and Amanda has found a job working with hearing-impaired children, when tragedy strikes: While visiting the Acme Acres Mega Mall, Miranda gets hit by a falling anvil. Because neither her nor her doctor are aware of toon physics (specifically, the law that states that if you get flattened by an anvil, just crawl out of frame and you'll be as good as new), her injuries are misdiagnosed as permanent, and she spends the next few years in a wheelchair. She also undergoes her first involuntary spin change that year. For reasons which, to this day, no one recalls, it's as a Green Bay Packer.
1994: While putting away groceries, Amanda falls and hits her head. While Viktor tends to her, she briefly regains her hearing, only to lose it again. This sparks a new ambition in him: to help her regain it permanently. Also that same year, Miranda shows off her budding mechanical genius, with her first attempts to customize her wheelchair.
1996: For some odd reason, the Minks mistakenly fear they may be deported back to Russia, and, regrettably, leave L.A. and head for the most obscure spot they can find. What they don't know is, their request for green cards has finally been approved (which sparks a long governmental search to find them). Meanwhile, the Minks wind up in Acme Acres. Miranda enrolls in Acme Loo, meeting Rhubella Rat, RuBarb Purenstein and Babs Bunny, who, with the help of Wile E. Coyote, finally solve the mystery of her strange affliction ("Miranda"). She also gains her first (and only) boyfriend, Lionel Carrotte, who sees she's in a wheelchair, and cares not one whit ("The Bloomin' Loonies: Entrances"). Later on that year, she gets blown out of her chair and smacked against the wall in that Sound Effects 101 accident, which causes a 95% hearing loss in her left ear, but the impact jars her spinal column and grants her the ability to walk again ("Miranda 2: Changes"). Also that year, she accepts the offer to join the Carrottes' group, The Bloomin' Loonies, as auxiliary drummer and percussionist ("The Bloomin' Loonies $4.95: The Sound Of Carrottes").
1999: Finally, after five years and many fruitless attempts, Viktor invents a pair of hearing aids for Amanda that actually work. Also, after three years, the FBI finally tracks the Norkas down in Acme Acres, and after some confusion, is finally able to award them their green cards. Shortly afterwards, Viktor and Amanda become U.S. citizens. On the spur of the moment, Leo Carrotte proposes to Miranda [unaware that she's only 14 1/2!] ("Akron In Reverse").
2000: On the Fourth of July, Miranda Mink becomes Mrs. Lionel Carrotte in an elaborate double-ring ceremony with Nigel and RuBarb. (So maybe Viktor was right after all...)

Oh, well, back to the drawing board...