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ROBERTA RAT

Roberta's cute, for a rat. But man, can she talk! She'll talk your ears off if you give her half a chance! And, just between us, I don't think she's too fond of me. She keeps referring to me as "a vicious blue panther who should be sent to the Taos National Zoo to be booed, jeered and spat at by thousands of adoring New Mexicans (her precise words)." I've tried to tell her that Taos doesn't even have a zoo, national or otherwise, but does she listen? No. She keeps trying to beat me over the head with a broken chair. Kids today. Go figure. A very brief timeline follows:
1990: Roberta, the second daughter born to Rhonda and Denys Rat, enters the world shortly after Denys (a photojournalist for The Acme Gazette) supposedly dies after falling in an illegal vat of dip. (See Rhonda for further details.)
1991: Roberta is already talking up a storm.
1999: Nobody has figured out how to shut her off.

Oh well, back to the drawing board...